Considering how prevalent mental illness is, why do so few bloggers talk about it?

The aim of this blog is to write about my experience with mental illness, developments in my life as well as issues in the field of mental health all the while keeping a feminist framework.

I hope you can take something from this blog, whatever that may be.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Med Thief? This makes no sense

So last night I go to get my many many pills out so I can take them as well as to get out the ones I will take in the morning. I sit on my bed, open the drawer of my bed side table and reach in and grab…. Nothing. ALL my pills (the bottles and all) are gone: the ones I was using, the extras I have for later this month, a box of sample meds I was trying out and sleep meds that I don’t often use. My vitamins are still there along with a couple other things (pen etc) but its like the meds were never there because the drawer is arranged in the same way just there are spaces that are empty! I do a double take, get a big wave of the heebs (heeby jeebies) and boot it to where my partner is. Im like, 'all my pills are gone', hes like, 'what?' And im like, 'their gone, all of them', he stands their quiet, contemplative and starts to look worried. I tell him, 'don’t freak out, if you freak out ill freak out'. I am getting very worried and begin to think I may cry. We go in to the bedroom (me already looking over my shoulder paranoid) and I show him the empty drawer. Then he asks me, 'are you sure you didnt moved them?', 'no' I say. I ask him 'did you move them?', he says 'no'. Then he says, 'that only leaves one thing', and im thinking 'oh god someone was here'. We check to see if anything else is missing and nothing is. All our valuables are there. Nothing is stolen. I get him to check all the closets and under the bed (ha) for this pill thief and find nothing. We take time searching to see if one of us, I don’t know, slept walked and hid them… NOTHING. Now we are wondering if someone stole them to sell on the street? (a bit of a stretch in least)... but how would they know I had them and where they were!? We don’t think they are even worth anything! We are both thoroughly confused. We decide to call security in our building even if it is just to give them a heads up that Possibly there was a theft. Of course the guy on duty is confused too. Everyone I have told is confused and eventually gets the 'you probably just moved them' look on their face - but I honestly didn’t! I never move them because I only take them before bed and the morning plus why wouldn’t I have moved my vitamins too?

So all this means one of three things:
1. someone broke in – this is very bad
2. my partner took them and is denying it…hence some bad stuff going down in our relationship
3. I did it in some sort of 'out of it' state and don’t remember, and therefore have some serious mental awareness problems that are cause for alarm.

I think 2. would be the best hey?

Of course I was unable to take my meds that night or this morning and was having withdrawl before I was able to get to the Pharmacy, I had to pay for more drugs a few weeks early and missed work due to this little field trip. Sucks.
I am pretty stressed but at the same time I am shockingly calm because as for now I dont know for sure what happened so im in this weird state of limbo denial... mmm feels good

Ill update later

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